How does one stop taking everything personally?
Answer by Dushka Zapata:
You get on the bus. You accidentally bump into a man. He puts his face right next to yours and yells.
You are a fucking idiot! Watch where you put your feet, you moron!
It's hard not to take this personally. He's yelling in your face. He's calling you names. He looks like he might get violent.
You don't know this, but that man was laid off from a job he had been working on for over two decades. He has been trying to get another one, but he can't catch a break. He's worried about providing for his family. He walks around trying to fill his days, feeling useless, invisible.
Him yelling at you had nothing to do with you.
The guy (or girl) you are dating doesn't trust you. He keeps his distance, plays it safe. You try to be worthy of his trust but it doesn't seem to make a difference.
You don't know this, but before he met you he was badly hurt. He's been cheated on, lied to, betrayed. His trust issues are his to resolve. They have nothing to do with you.
You begin to learn that nothing is personal when you understand that people have a history that began before they encountered you.
When you can see they are hiding behind walls, tall, solid walls originally erected to protect themselves.
Other people's walls are not your problem.
Which is a good thing, because dealing with your own is a full time job.