Answer by Virali Modi:

It kind of feels as if I'm repeating myself, but for the sake of this question, I will repeat myself.

It was September of 2006, I was admitted in the hospital, I went into a coma, I was pronounced clinically dead three times, the doctors lost hope and wanted me off of life support, my mom fought for my life (when everyone had given up), she celebrated my birthday and I opened my eyes, the doctors cheered and said that I'd live, I fully came out of the coma on the 5th of October, but I was paralyzed neck down.

I lost my whole life in a month, it seemed like seconds for me, because I barely remember anything from before my coma. It was as if I was normal, walking, talking, and laughing before I went to sleep, once I woke up, I had lost all sensation, movement, the ability to speak, my friends, my family, my memories, and my dreams.

It was as if I was a small child, starting life all again. I remembered my parents, I remembered a few people here and there, but I couldn't move or talk. I couldn't feel anything. I was a vegetable. My lungs were so weak, I couldn't fully take a deep breath, my vocal chords were so weak, it would seem as if I'm whispering when I'm really screaming.

I lost my friends and my family because they didn't know what to make of me. The support I should've gotten from them, I didn't get it. They didn't know what to do, where to start, how to take care of me. I was alone with my parents, no one to help, no one to support, and no one to encourage.

I lost all my memories, I don't remember much or anything from the time when I was walking, I don't remember my past, it's all a blackhole. I try really hard to remember, but it's gone, it has disappeared into a black abyss. My parents have helped me remember things by showing my pictures and by taking me to the place.

I've lost all my dreams and aspirations that I had before. Of course, they've been replaced by new and better ones, but I had made a life plan that I desperately wanted to follow. I wanted to be a doctor, a cardiac specialist to be exact. I wanted to save people, but my first priority was my health, so I stopped studying. I lost all the encouragement to study, I've replaced my dreams. I've decided that I still wanted to help people, emotionally and mentally, if not physically.

What does it feel like to lose everything in a split second? It's devastating, I didn't understand the meaning of my existence. It's heartbreaking to see everyone living a normal and non-traumatic life, living in oblivion, enjoying life and not worrying. It's heartwrenching to see people taking things for granted. But honestly, it's nice to start afresh, it's nice to reconsider priorities, it's wonderful to understand what's important – rather who's important. Best of all though, it's the best time to change yourself as a person, I can say that who I was before and who I am now, are two incredibly different people, and I'm fortunate to have had the chance to start over. Most people don't get that chance.

How does it feel to lose everything in a moment?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s